And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
