I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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