break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
