i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
