Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Randomize
