I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
