some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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