no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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