I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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