i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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