i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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