You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
