Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
