I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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