idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
