all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
