Porn is love you can see.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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