if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
