so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
