So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
