oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
