is your mom at the bar?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
