Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
