Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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