I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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