He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
