Define "chronic" masturbator.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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