Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
