i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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