Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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