sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
