I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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