at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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