This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
