I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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