I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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