The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
