i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
