Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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