just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
