Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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