omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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