she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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