So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
