Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
