So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
