I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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