$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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