if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
