Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
